Like I’ve said before, I’m no expert on mothering but I have had a lot of experience. I guess once you pass 50, you’ve had a few more experiences than when you were a young mother. You usually have a little bit more time to reflect as well. So, your opinions change. For me, I feel like I did a lot more judging when I was younger. Now, I’ve experienced so many more situations, that I try hard not to judge as much. It doesn’t mean I”m perfect by any means! I still do a lot that is not right.
So, in saying that, I’ve tried harder to connect with family. I never used to talk to my sisters a lot. There were many excuses. I was busy, grudges perhaps, etc. Now, I think we all try a little harder. I know that when I have a problem or joy to share, I have a brother and sisters that are always available, as well as others in my family. In fact, I’m very blessed with quite a few immediate family members that are willing to talk or help.
There are many people who don’t have this luxury. Perhaps communication has been cut off for some reason. They just may not have much family. So, I’m encouraging you to work on those family relationships. It’s healthy for you and your kids. If your family consists of something other than blood relatives, it still counts.
It’s so easy to remember past hurts and hold a grudge. It almost feels good, because you feel “better” than the other person. After all, they did this thing that was hurtful to you. I’m urging you to put it behind you. Talk to them, talk to someone close to you, write it down and put it away. Whatever helps you to put closure on it. You will be a healthier mom/nurturer because of it.
Teaching your children forgiveness is a very important skill. I’ve spoken with people that let something affect them for a long time, and that only teaches hate. If you spend even a few minutes thinking about what that person has done to you, and how you can get back at them, you are wasting those few minutes.
As the saying goes, life it short! Every day we hear of someone we know getting critically ill, or dying. That’s our proof that those minutes of grudge thinking are wasted.
My family supporting me!
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control. Against such things there is no law. Galatians 5:22-23
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I truly enjoy reading your blog. My sister and I were never super close, but we never were distant on purpose, if that makes any sense. But for the past few years dealing with first our dad’s illness then death and most recently our mom’s close call, we have become pretty close. It’s a nice feeling. We have always been so much “opposites” in almost everything, but are totally on the same page with our parents.
Your words also make me thankful of my friends. And you are one that I treasure. We haven’t shared a lot in the past few decades, but I do think of you often and am going to change that. Thank you for sharing and I hope we can “share” more in our years to come. Your friend always- Kerri
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I think if you often too!
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It’s interesting how perspectives change with age. In our youth we take our families for granted, because they will always be there, right. We have plenty of time to spend “later”. As we get older and we become more familiar with loss, we begin to realize we actually don’t have forever. I guess the time to start focusing on those relationships is now! Thank you for the gentle nudge.
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So very true, we do take time for granted!
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